Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Birthday Blah's

So it's my birthday, again.  Yes, it comes around every year but since I hit 40, I'm not so happy celebrating the passing of the years. Is it because I'm getting older, that could be part of it.  Or, could it be that I'm tired of being disappointed?

Yeah, that's probably it.  I love my husband.  I really do but when it comes to planning things like Mother's Day, Valentines and birthdays, he kinda sucks at it.  He's more of the "so what do you want to do for ____ " than plan something and surprise me.  Given the opportunity, he'd rather let me decide and put it into action.

My mom is probably a little to blame for that because ever since we got married, she always had us over for dinner around my birthday with cake and everything.  My mother-in-law also likes to cook a birthday dinner and voila hubs has nothing whatsoever to do except buy a card and gift.  Only over the last few years, money has been tight and so rather than get creative and come up with something, he's done nothing.  Although two years ago we did go away for a night in the big city as we decided to combine my birthday with picking up my wedding rings which I had gotten re-sized.

I think it was my 40th that was the real clincher for me though.  My inlaws were going to be away for my birthday so while family was visiting and we were celebrating my nephew's birthday at my house, out popped my MIL with a birthday cake for me.  While she thought she was doing something nice, my ungrateful little heart was not so happy having my 40th birthday tacked on as an after thought to  a six year old's party a full month before the actual day.  My husband kept asking me what I wanted to do for my 40th and so finally, I said I'd make a really nice dinner and have friends over.  To be fair my husband kept asking me if that's what I really wanted to do but he never came up with any other suggestions.  I pulled all the stops with hand breaded chicken cordon bleu, a fussy 6 layer cookie/mousse cake and a table decorated to the nines.  After it was all over, I felt let down.  You know like when you're excitedly waiting for something to happen only when it arrives it wasn't all that great?  Like that.  The food was good, the company was good but still I felt like why did I do all that work.

So I stopped having birthdays as much as I possibly can.  I can't stop people calling; however I don't answer the phone when my BIL and his family call to sing me Happy Birthday.  I told my MIL that  I don't want a dinner and since my mom's gone now, that's not an issue either.  My kids are getting older though, so while they might not think ahead of time to make me anything and are always attempting something at the last minute, it was sweet when they got up this morning and made me breakfast in bed.  My oldest actually scrambled eggs and my middle child made tea.
It was perfect, it was sweet.   Of course, once they finished delighting me with their cards and received their hugs, they promptly went upstairs and got into a huge spat over goodness knows what that I had to shelve my breakfast and go and separate them all.  Ah, birthdays.

I even made a trip to my dad's planning on take-out for dinner, purposely didn't advertise to my brother that I was coming down for the day and was fully prepared to forget I even had a birthday. Only my brother did remember and came over with a gift and my dad forgot until he checked his i-pad and got a reminder. Only how do you say, that's okay Dad, I was pretending it wasn't my birthday and didn't want to make this visit about it.  

As for hubs, this year he suggested we go to the spa so we have reservations this week. I appreciated that he actually put some thought into doing something for my birthday.  If he had of gone a step further and just made the reservation and not have to consult me on everything, it would have been even better. Still, it's a step in the right direction.  Although, I can't help but wish he'd bought me a card.


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