Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Reassessing after a loss

When someone close to you dies, it really makes you step back and re-assess your life. One of the things that my husband and I realized was that we are not in a very good position should one of us die.  While we do have a Will and excellent life insurance at the moment, the very fact that we are living so close to the edge would make it very, very difficult for us to get by financially until things can get sorted out. 

Like covering funeral costs.  My mother’s cremation cost $2,900.00.  That’s without a service or an urn or anything fancy whatsoever.  If one of us died at this moment, neither of us would have the funds to pay the funeral home.  My father was blessed in that my mother’s employer paid for all the food at the Celebration of Life and her co-workers all volunteered to serve. 

Neither my husband or I would be so blessed. 

It took her death to make my husband realize that we need to stop putting off what we need to do.  Like our wedding rings.  I haven’t been able to wear mine for almost 8 years because they are too small for me now.  My husband hasn’t worn his for two or three years because one of the diamonds fell out and it needs to be repaired.  We have now sent our rings off to the jeweler and will be picking them up this Saturday.  I can just imagine how wonderful it will feel to wear my beautiful rings again. 

Not only that, we realized that we had named my parents as guardians of our children in our Will.  We had chosen my parents over his because mine were a good 10 years younger.  While my dad is only 62, I can’t imagine him taking on my children and looking after them by himself.   He loves my children but my mom was always the nurturer and as he said himself “grandkids were Nana’s thing”. 

Suddenly we are left in a quandary.  Recent events with my brother-in-law has left a sour taste in my mouth and made us completely reluctant to leave our children with him despite the fact that I love his wife. On my side, my own brother has not been living such a stellar life these past two years and considering we both have completely different religious beliefs, I can’t imagine leaving my children with him either. 

The issue has become pressing because my husband and I are going away this weekend and my mother-in-law wants to make sure we have something written down in case something happens. 

We have some close friends but over the last few years we’ve all grown a bit apart.  So who do you ask when you don’t feel you can leave your children with family? 

If you haven’t made your Will yet, I would urge you to do so.  I know first hand helping my dad, how much smoother things go when you have a valid Will in your hand. Did you know that if you don’t have a Will, any joint bank accounts and credit cards will be frozen leaving you without access to funds?

Have you made your Will?  Do you know who your children will go to in the event of your death?


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