It's hard to believe that my baby turned 5 years old last week. It seems like only yesterday that I was bringing that fat, bruised looking 12 pound little baby boy home. It can still bring tears to my eyes when I re-live that day when everything changed from normal to almost traumatic as I struggled to catch my breath to keep pushing this baby who was obviously stuck and I looked up to see tears pouring down my husband's and mother's face and my near panic when I finally saw his blue little face and utter silence and thought... well you can guess what went through my mind. Thank God, he came through alright. It ended up being more bruising than anything and apart from some shoulder dystosia (sp?) he made it just fine and I have this amazing, strong and handsome little lad.
Tears soon turned to laughter though as I looked at my pudgy little guy in the nursery, 3 x the size of all those other little mites in their incubators, he might have been purple and blue but he was anything but fragile. It still makes me smile to remember the nurses frantically trying to hunt up bigger sleepers for him and how they still ended up looking fit to burst. Too then me and my boy were something of a sensation as everyone wanted to pop in and see this 12 pound baby and the mother who delivered him naturally.
Of course he grew fast, much faster than my other two as he already had such a head start. I came across a box of his baby clothes last week and while some outfits evoked sentimental tears in my eyes the others I confess I had no memory of. It then dawned on me that he hadn't been in them for very long. I had birthed the equivalent to a 3 month old and clothes went by fast.
Probably best of all my babies. He was the most content, the easiest to feed, to sleep, to nap and ever so patient for my attention while I attended to his sisters. Not content to stay still for long he soon was dragging himself about on his forearms earning him the nickname commando baby. Of course, when he started to walk it was a whole other experience. I have many posts about my children's early years but this post pretty much sums up what a day in the life a boy could be like in We are Not So Screwed
Still it's even harder to believe that my baby will be going to kindergarten in September. I am torn between elation at finally having all three in school full-time and sadness over my last baby growing up. I swear every time I see a baby I get those pangs all over again and have to spend ages reminding myself all the reasons why this womb is closed. The traumatic last labour and delivery being one of them.
Despite all that I've got my O now and I am so thankful I am getting to experience the joys of raising a boy. He's so different from the other two and yet he wants so much to be just like his big sisters. When we went away the other weekend, they all were on their bikes racing around the campground. O tired desperately to keep up with 8 year old sister failing to realize that not only were her legs longer but her bike was built to go faster. She was oblivious to his plight and wanted only to continue on her way singing merrily as she enjoyed her sense of freedom of being allowed to roam around the campground.
I tried to console him and pointed out to him that she's older etc. but it didn't stop him from trying to follow her or keep up until one time he wiped out. E, oblivious kept riding, leaving O figuratively in her dust. He screeched her name as he got up and called out for her to wait for him but she didn't hear him. He threw himself down on the ground and oh he howled. My mama heart went out to him and as I walked over to comfort him it struck me how hard it was for him at that point to be 4 years old, the baby of the family and so desperately wanting to be big like E. A little mama sympathy went a long way to comforting him but despite all that I could say or offer he was still clinging to the hope that when he turned 5, he'll be big like E and able to ride faster than her.
So he's turned five now and we haven't yet come to the test of him out riding her. I just hope when they next ride together somehow what I said about her always being four years older but that one day he would catch up to her in height and speed will sink in and help lessen his frustration.
In the meantime, I am going to try and enjoy these last few months I have him to myself because I know come September we will all be entering a new phase in our lives together.
I love you O!