Sunday, July 17, 2011

Saying Goodbye

carnationI don’t even know how to start this post. 

Quite simply, my grandmother passed away last week.  She was 80, she had some health issues but still it came as a complete shock to her family.  I’ve been quiet this week as I’ve tried to deal with the suddenness of her death. 

And yet, everyday life continues which makes it almost easy to push her death to the back of my mind.  With three children it’d be hard not to be caught up in their constant whirlwind and yet… its effect on me is there in so many small ways.

I feel for my mother who had been caring for my grandmother for the past several years. While she was still independent living in a small trailer on my parent’s property, she still needed some watching over. 

My grandmother was ornery, sometimes cantankerous and often blunt.  She drove my mother crazy at times and yet, I think it’s the most difficult people in our lives that we love the most.  It must be such a hole in her life right now, not having to think about grandma and what she’s doing.

I never viewed my grandmother as a warm motherly woman and yet, I enjoyed her gruff ways and her sharp views on life.  When my mother had me, grandma was still raising two children at home.  She really wasn’t the doting grandmother type.  She never told me she was proud of me to my face but my husband said in talking with her, it was more than evident that she thought a lot of me. 

She once gave me teacups that had been used to serve tea at her wedding more than 50 years ago.  Because I loved tea cups and she knew that of all the grandchildren, I would take care of them.  I have a note from her, in her scratchy almost illegible handwriting that I will keep always. 

Because life gets busy, it’d probably been almost a month since I’d last seen her.  Like most people who lose loved ones, I wish I had one more day with her. 

At least, the last day we did have was a pleasant one as she joined us for lunch at my mother’s and sat outside and chatted while we watched my kids play. 

My kids never caught on to the great-grandma bit and simply called her “old nana” (my mom being “nana”). When we told my oldest what had happened she was saddened by the fact that she now has no great grandparents on either side of the family.  She didn’t realize how lucky she was to have known at least one great grandma since most of us are having our kids so much later these days.

Of course, it could be worse.. she could have no grandmas… like me.  I miss my grandmas.


Thanks for leaving a comment. I love hearing from you.


This policy is valid from 27 February 2009 This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me.
For questions about this blog, please contact Zeemaid at

This blog accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation. This blog abides by word of mouth marketing standards. We believe in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. The compensation received may influence the advertising content, topics or posts made in this blog. That content, advertising space or post will be clearly identified as paid or sponsored content. The owner(s) of this blog is compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. Even though the owner(s) of this blog receives compensation for our posts or advertisements, we always give our honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics or products. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the bloggers' own.

Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question.

This blog does not contain any content which might present a conflict of interest. To get your own policy, go to