I have posted before about my oldest girl's struggles with school and the mistakes I think that have happened over the past year and a half that I believe has negatively affected her learning ability. I.E. the move to a new community and a poor teacher.
Still we were excited to see that she got not one but two very motivated and dedicated teachers this year. Add to that she is also taking assisted learning classes for extra help. So why is it that with this last report card, my daughter has now dropped from approaching or meeting expectations to your "child is below minimal age expectations for her age group".
I just don't get it. I'm stressed about it and quite frankly worried for her. A part of me can't help but feel that she's not trying hard enough, that she's more focused on having fun and being creative than getting down to the nuts and bolts of reading and math. I look back at my own school years and can't help but feel that by coasting through school I lost a lot of opportunities. Granted, if I had taken some of those opportunities, I probably would never have met my husband and the rest of my life would have been significantly different. So what's the lesson, life happens for a reason? I don't know.
I was sharing a few of my concerns with my mom over the weekend and I was amazed by her calm acceptance of what I viewed as big problems. I was also struck by her calm acceptance of who E is. She said to me, "She may never get it, Zee, some kids just don't." Part of me looked at her like she was crazy... what am I supposed to do with that? What are we going to do if she doesn't get it? Will they start failing her?
It wasn't until I thought about what my mom had said that I realized how irrational my fear and stress was. So what if she doesn't get it. Eventually she will figure out the reading and the math. She may never be quick at either but she is quick and clever at things that she is passionate about. What am I afraid of her losing? Opportunities to make something of herself? I doubt it. Opportunities she may lose probably are ones that she wouldn't be interested in anyways. I don't really have any grand ambitions for my children, I just want them to be healthy and happy and hopefully to find their passion early in life.
It doesn't mean I'm going to stop helping her or give up on teaching her the importance of a good education. It does mean that I seriously need to chill out and be more laid back about the whole thing. It does mean that I'm going to embrace who my child is, the good and the not so good.
She is who she is and She has been "feafully and wonderfully made".