Thursday, February 17, 2011

Letter to Supermom

Dear Supermom,

Let me start by saying, you're sweet, you really really are and I appreciate the example that you set for the rest of us less super moms. 

Thank you for pointing out to me that a little eyeliner and lipstick can go a long way and that getting highlights once a month should be considered mandatory maintenance.  I, of course, couldn't help but feel flattered that you shared these tips with me. 

I too should feel honored when you shared with me how drab you really are dressed underneath but isn't it just amazing what a pair of leather calf boots can do to dress up a pair of jeans and how your stylish jacket is really covering up baby spit.  I was almost mesmorized by the bouncing and jangling of your long sexy earrings.  You tried really hard to make it seem that you were just like me.  How sweet of you.  I really felt the connection as I stood there in my scuffed runners and faded jeans (not to mention considerably fatter than you.)

So I am sure it will come as a bit of a shock to you when I tell you that you have to go.  No seriously, you need to leave.  Vamoose. Adios.  Make like a banana and split!

What have you done wrong?  Why the answer is simple.  Nothing.  You've done absolutely nothing wrong.   You arrive at school impeccably dressed every day.  Not once have I seen you out of breath or with a hair out of place.  Not only you are well dressed but so are your kids.  All three of them.  When they coined the phrase "Yummy Mummy", I am sure it was you they were thinking of.  You even make the standard mom ponytail rock.

You have an endless fount of patience.  Do you even knjow what frustration is or how to express it?  I would have thought having to stand outside your son's class for 20 minutes while bouncing a baby in a carseat on your hip because he refused to go inside would have brought out some sort of annoyed response.  Not even a flicker.
You volunteer on PAC, at every field trip and for every parent required participation thingy all while packing a baby on your back.


When it's your turn for snack day at preschool, do you throw together some goldfish, cheese and grapes like the rest of us?  No.  You bake homemade bread.   HOME.     MADE.      BREAD!!!!! 

So to be honest, you are making the rest of us, well me actually, look bad. 

I am sure there is a community out there for people like you. Maybe somewhere near Beverly Hills?

8 comments:

  1. Gotta love those Supermom's! NOT!! :)

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  2. DUDE, you just know it's all an act, right?

    She's knocking back the vodka screwdrivers like no one's business after the kids go to bed, I'll bet.

    Anyone who is THAT put together and has all the time in the world to look that gorgeous and make homemade bread has to have some imperfections that they've simply learned to hide so well that the outside world would never even realize it.

    But you know and I know that no one's life is all sunshine and roses. It's just not possible.

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  3. Visting from SITS! LOL on your post. I think we all see that Super Mom somewhere and wonder how she does it all, but really you don't see what is behind the scenes at home. If she IS doing it all, she must never sleep.
    I do think though that it is good to try to improve ourselves in any way we can, and try for the best, but have a realistic point of view that we aren't going to be perfect and can't do everything without sacrifice in other areas.
    Many women have driven themselves to depression because they have tried to be everything to everyone and that just isn't possible.

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  4. This is a great post! I love it...I did one similar a couple months ago "Got it all together" but I love how yours is a breakup letter!! I tip my hat!!!

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  5. Ugh! I can't stand "supermoms". Especially when I don't have a baby at home anymore (mines 3) and I still end up smelling like baby spit up at the end of the day. (someone care to explain that one?!)

    New follower! I'll be back!!

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  6. LOVE this. I can so relate. Especially now that I have two. Before, I was closer to the super mom (but not reallly). Now, it's Old Navy yoga pants, no makeup, no shower, and lovely circles under my eyes. I wonder what that woman feels like on the inside.

    So is this a real person? Cannot imagine...

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  7. Are you sure she isn't a robot? I'm betting she's a robot.

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  8. Yup she's a real person. I had started out wanting to make a montage of all the supermoms I know and ended up... well stuck on her. Funny thing is I actually like chatting with her and I'm sure at home her kids must drive her crazy too. Some days though, you get tired of facing those that seem to keep it all together when you're obviously not.

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