Sunday, February 27, 2011

Reflections of 3 Years

It's been almost three years since I've started blogging.  My reasons and motivations for blogging has gone through various changes from lofty ambitions of providing a detailed chronicle of our lives to sharing helpful parenting tips that I've learned.  Well day to day chronicling can be pretty boring.  Seriously, haven't I talked about my kid's bowel movements enough?  And parenting tips... well those are few and far between.

What this blog has done though is caused me to reflect and ponder life in a, hopefully, different way.

I think most of us struggle with mother hood in some way or another. There are those of us who are able to embrace the whole mommy hood thing wholeheartedly and with great joy and seem to relish every dirty, grimy moment.  I'm not that mom.  If you are that sort of mom, I wish I was you.

For example:  Here's what I hate about motherhood:
I hate the fighting. I hate cleaning.  I hate refereeing.  I hate not earning money.. my own money.  I hate struggling to pay bills while I stay home.  I hate dealing with the kids in public.  I hate that I have this high standard of how they should behave in public, which means I'm always stressed.  I hate planning everything. I hate not having more me time.  
On the other hand, here's what I love about parenting:
Reading to my kids.  Planning family fun night.  Snuggles, hugs and kisses.  Special surprises they plan just for mommy. Hunting for easter eggs, waiting for Santa, Dressing up, plays, concerts, exploring nature, colouring.  

Things I have learned about myself since I started blogging.

I am a bit of a whiner.  I spend a lot of time moaning and complaining about my life. Most days I can't help but think I've let a lot of opportunities slip by me.  
I find it hard to be content with where I am and what I am doing in the moment most of the time.  
I love my kids and I love my husband but I don't appreciate them enough. 
I like voicing my opinions here.  It gives me a voice where often I feel I have none.  
Things I have learned about myself since reading Blue Cottonmemory's blog post:  Divine Re-Design My Heart

I am not a generous giver of myself.
I do not always speak kindly or courteously to my children.
I do not always correct my children in love.
I am sometimes resentful that I do not still come first.


Most importantly, blogging has enabled me to connect with other parents who are just like me. It has shown me that I'm not alone in my feelings and helps me not feel so bad about those feelings. Parts of me still does feel bad because I wish I could be better and do better than I have done.  But then again who doesn't feel they could be better? 

In my analyzing ways, blogging has also helped me to realize that every day is a new day and there's always tomorrow to try again.  Thank God, children are forgiving.   

What has blogging taught you?

5 comments:

  1. I first started reading, and I was so excited for you! Happy 3rd Blogaversary!

    And your talked about what you hated about motherhood - Are you living my life? In my mind? We took all the boys out to dinner tonight - enough said!

    And I so love what you love about parenting!

    And then you went and made me all weepy, mentioning my post - I so needed to feel like there was something valuable within me today.

    I think that's what friends like you in the Blogahood do - we encourage each other to do better, help us to forgive ourselves when we miss it - and to set healthy expectations of what this is all about. Especially, when at times in our lives when that support is the neighborhood(so to speak). You are such a blessing!

    BTW - children are forgiving. It's the teens who are not as forgiving:(

    Be blessed dear friend as you have blessed me!

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  2. Happy Three Years of Blogging!

    Blogging has taught me that I don't need a therapist, since I have a blog ;)

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  3. Congrats on 3 years!!
    Blogging has taught me so much, including the fact that I am not alone in these motherhood issues that I thought only affected me and my kids. That is so valuable!!

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  4. wow 3 years! Congrats.
    I only started my blog back in Oct and even though I don't do mommy blogging but blog has been a big stress reliever! And as a stay at home mom its been a big "out let" but i need a to have a mommy blog. Mostly now that we are considering home school! eek!

    ReplyDelete

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