Wife vs. Husband
Judge: It says here that the Plaintiff is suing the Defendant for damages due to a wilful failure to complete projects in an efficient and timely manner.
Plaintiff Counsel: Yes sir.
Judge: Present your case
Well you see, your Honour, it is the plaintiff's position that upon their marriage the wife and husband entered into a contract to love, cherish and help one another through life's journey. It is furthermore the Plaintiff's position that the Defendant is failing to uphold his end of the bargain by failing to complete projects he begins in a timely fashion and by failing to clean up after himself. I will begin by cross examining the Defendant.
Plaintiff counsel: "Do you recall the project called Operation VHS Reduction?"
PC: "Do you recall when you began OperationVHS Reduction?"
Defendant: "Um.. sometime during first week of January 2011"
PC: "Would you please look at this photo of a box VHS"
Defendant: "In the family room."
PC: "Thank you. Perhaps you'll recall Operation Shower Head/Thermostat. Can you tell me when you purchased these items?"
Defendant: "Sure, January 8th"
PC: "That's right and can you tell me on what day the showerhead was finally installed after several reminders from your wife?"
Defendant mumbles. "January 23rd".
PC: "And can you tell me what you did with the old showerhead that you removed?"
Defendant: "No idea"
PC: "You left it on the kitchen counter"
Defendant: "Yeah but I put it away after work the next day"
PC: "Only after your wife reminded you."
PC: Your honour, we have many more such examples and it is only owing the plaintiff's reluctance to completely embarrass her spouse that we are refraining to expose such failed Operations such as Garage Clean-Up, Gutter Gunk Removal and Retaining Wall Assent. However, it was only after today's events that the plaintiff has finally reached her breaking point and has elected to expose all in the:
Operation Paint Trim
PC to Defendant " Is it not true that you stayed home on January 16th while your wife and children went out so you could paint the trim?
Defendant: "Why yes I did and I did a fantastic job if I do say so myself. My wife was very pleased with the results."
PC: "And did you clean up your brushes and put your paint supplies away?"
Defendant (sheepish): "Uh no. I planned to continue painting the trim so I put a baggie over the brush and tucked it and the paint supplies into a corner of our kitchen."
PC: "Are you or are you not aware of your 3 year old son's penchant for getting into things and drawing all over the furniture and house. Have you not personally witnesses the great Felt Debacle of 2010 in which all the upstair carpets had to be cleaned?"
Defendant: "um yes."
Your Honour, May I present the final evidence of my client at what their son accomplished while she was having her shower this morning. Supervised, I might point out by the five year old daughter who was home sick today.
Judge: I find in favour of the Plaintiff. The Plaintiff is entitled, at the very least, to a day at the Spa. As for the Defendant, for his flagrant irresponsibility I sentence him to 10 days hard labour to be supervised by the Plaintiff.
(This is meant to be a tongue in cheek poke at my husband. I recognize that he works very hard at his job providing for his family and doesn't always feel like working around the house when he's off. And I should mention he's not the only one that procrastinates around here.)