Tuesday, November 23, 2010

One Day at a Time

So I have had the weekend to ponder the whole diabetes thing and all the changes that are ahead of me.  While part of me is sad that I am going to have to forego a lot of my favourites this holiday season, the other part of me is glad that I am going to be forced to make the changes I've been putting off to get healthier and lose weight. 

I realize that there are a lot of things still available to me if I manage my diabetes well.  After all, moderation is the key.  However, when it comes to sweets it's very difficult to say no.  I'm not talking any sweets, just ones I particularly have a weakness for like good chocolate, gooey chocolate caramels with nuts etc.  Sure I can restrain myself from eating a whole box of chocolates but if that box is in my cupboard, I will pick away at it until it's gone.  I am not one of those people that can eat two bites of a chocolate bar and then declare myself satisfied and put it away for another time.  Oh how I envy you. (and hate)

But I digress.  What really prompted me to write today was that the question arose in my mind of whether or not I tell anyone about this.  I have told my mother, of course and one close girlfriend but I find myself with a sense of embarrassment about the whole thing.  I have even held back from telling my MIL.

Why?  For the same reason, I am loathe to admit my high blood pressure, because I'm overweight.  I am even loathe to admit that fact on my blog and feel compelled to add that I'm only moderately overweight ... well I'm sure you understand.  Only the reality that almost every one of us could stand to lose a few pounds reassures me.

I have gotten so hung up about my weight that I start to perceive that the only thing people see about me is how heavy I am.  I'm having a hard time connecting with other moms at my girls' school, I put it down to my weight.  I put off going to the doctor about any complaints because I feel they are just going to put it down to my being overweight and if I'd just lose weight everything would be fine.  It's amazing how skewed our thinking can get and rational me can tell me I'm being silly but when I got snubbed out of the new mom group cause the other two moms clicked... I couldn't help feel it was because they were skinny and perfect, not to mention young while I was older and fat.

I don't really think I need to tell virtual strangers what's going on with me.  However, once we explain to the children what's going on with mommy (I start pricking my fingers and testing my blood, there is no hiding it from them) they are going to talk about it... with anyone and everyone.  That's just the way kids are.

Well, like everything in life I am going to just have to take it as it comes.. one day at a time.

2 comments:

  1. That is awesome that you are finding positives in this situation! I would also suggest that you might want to try switching to truvia (instead of artificial sugar).

    I think we're all a little weird about our weight. As for me, until I decided to buck up and tell virtual strangers about it, I didn't really feel any need to change. Now that I share my weight loss struggles (and some victories) with the world, I'm more concerned with not following through than I was when it was just me and my internal monologue. But hey, that's just me!

    I wish you the best of luck and I hope you have a great holiday!

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  2. I have Type 2 diabetes and have had it since 2005. If there's one bit of advice I can give you, it's to avoid any candy/cookies/ice cream that advertise as having "no sugar added". When I was first diagnosed friends and family bought me buckets of that stuff. While the thought was very sweet, those products are sweetened with Malitol and your body still treats that as sugar - only it's worse because it can also cause diarhhea.

    I hope your doctor is sending you for food counseling? Mine did and it was very helpful.

    If not, tip 2:

    Focus on total carb count (not just sugar) and try for 30g (breakfast), 15g (snack#1), 30g (lunch), 15g (snack#2), 45g (dinner) and you should find reasonable blood sugars along with exercise.

    I know how crappy it is to have diabetes. I totally remember how shocking and upsetting it is. It gets a little easier to accept over time.

    ReplyDelete

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