Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Healthy Food Choices and MIL's.


J continued throughout the weekend to sport a fever on and off.  Much to my MIL's dismay.

K had to work on Saturday for a little bit and I had to go to work that evening and so our shifts crossed over and my inlaws babysat.  Of course, I had thought J was on the mend as she didn't have a fever earlier that day and bounced around having all sorts of fun but, of course, when Nana shows up there is little J piteously lying on the couch with a rising temperature and a headache.   It didn't help that my MIL has always made me very aware that she does not sit while the kids are sick AND they had earlier offered to pay for my employee to replace me Saturday so I could stay home with my sick child.   Just one more way to add to the guilt.  My only comfort was that hubs would be home by 5 and so they wouldn't have to sit for long. 

Does it help that my MIL has taken to bringing over junk food when she comes?  Not really.  This time it was a jumbo bag of popcorn twists.  It was almost empty when I got home.  Last time it was cheezies.  Hidden, of course, so I never knew until I saw the left over evidence later.

It's bad enough that she makes me feel like I starve my children.  Always commenting on the snacks she gave her sons before bed because they were growing boys etc and how much my children eat when they are with her.  She laughs reminiscently over how the boys would get up from dinner and go and make themselves a sandwich.  Um did you forget that your sons were overweight?  Okay not majorly so but I have seen photos of my hubby just about bursting the buttons on his shirt and with a puffy face.  His brother still struggles with excess weight, the man who goes back five times to a buffet because he has to get his money's worth.

It is completely lost on her that I am trying to teach my children good food habits.  To not eat when they are bored because let's face it, their mama is not all that good at it and struggling with the pounds.  All three of my children are slim and I intend them to stay that way.  Not by beating them over the head with it so they end up with some sort of warped sense of body image or eating disorder but by teaching them proper food choices and about balance.  That being said we do have treats in my house because they do eat healthy and they do love fruit and veggies.  I know, I'm a lucky mom.  So I have no problem balancing it out now and then.

But letting them eat like they are little pigs makes no sense to me and that's essentially what she does.  Have you not heard about how tiny a child's stomach really is and how their portions should be smaller?  Why is it funny to have my son eat his entire plate of food and then allow him to eat half his grandfather's too?  I have to confess my husband some times allows this too.  I don't.  I deserve to eat too.  They don't need to eat mine too.  Course... I'm still overweight. ;)

Still I know it's a grandparent's prerogative to spoil their grandchildren and I know when they go over to my mom's they are fed all sorts of bad things.  My mom just spares me the details.  I am blissfully ignorant shall we say.  With my MIL it glares me right in the face and there's really nothing I can do.  They come free.

Still, every time it happens I have to shove it down and remind myself to be grateful they are so devoted to their grandchildren and that I can make up for it the rest of the week.

I am reminded of my Oma. She was my dad's mother and was from Slovenia.  Her English was very poor but her mantra was

"Eat, eat, it's good."

And I am sure it drove my mother crazy.  

*photo from Keetsa.com*

6 comments:

  1. Ugh so tough! When we were kids I would beg my friend for her yogurt in her lunch. Yogurt was my treat! My cousin jokes that when she came to our house for a weekend she was totally healed on the healthy foods and non junk that we had.

    My mom contends that we had snacks just not in excess. We'd get three cookies for 'snack' before bed, and if we whined about the three we'd get none.

    Why am I telling you this? well when I got to college, I totally had no sense of what was good or bad, just give me all that I could have of anything I wanted. Hence taco bell and Pizza hut became a problem and my impending metabolism lowering further contributed to my weight gain (over many years).

    So maybe you can help your kids find a balance between loving the junk food and knowing that its out there, that they can have it but also choosing to not eat ALL of it like its going out of style ,, and between the good choices that they know and like.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have a big problem with this too only it's with preschool. For some reason the teachers feed the kids donuts, cookies, Cheez-its and straight juice for snack time. It drives me crazy when I'm trying to be so good with nutrition at home.

    So frustrating!

    I just found your blog. I like it blog and will be back!

    ReplyDelete
  3. My MIL lives with us... So she's got the "spoilin' grandma" bit going on ALL the time. I don't know how to shut it off. We get upset with her a lot. But I had to put my foot down when over a holiday not 15 minutes after my kids and their cousins had breakfast, she was offering them pudding cups!
    She has had a lap band and only eats ice cream now... so not a good role model for my kids when she's always trying to force snacks on them too so she won't feel so guilty digging in.
    I definitely feel your pain! I'm there!

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  4. OH, I feel you! My MIL once brought my twins (who were 8 months old at the time) those marshmallow Peep candies!?! What?

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Everything in moderation, baby.

    But I get it. My problem is with my dad. We eat at my parents a lot, and Evan just won't try anything he hasn't already decided to like. So at my house, no desserts, no snacks, no sweets. But at my parents, my dad sneaks him cookies and candies. Some days it drives me insane. I just try to think "well, he's a grandpa." One day I may explode though.

    ReplyDelete
  6. guess the spoilin grandparents thing is universal*L*

    No sweets or dessert FAE? Wow you're a tough cookie. ;)


    Maybe if I taught them to cook while we went along then maybe their food choices wouldn't be so poor when they move out? I can dream. ;)

    ReplyDelete

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