Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A little inlaw rant.

It's amazing how difficult it is to blog with my hubby around. He has taken most of this week off. If he had of been at work as usual, I'd be doing my regular bloggy routine everyday. As it is, I was lucky to get that last post in. I just don't know how other women do it with their men around.

It's not so much as he doesn't want me to blog, it's more like that we are busy doing family things and with his family upstairs and all the outside relatives come to visit there are a lot of family things going on. I had to carve out some time to actually go and visit my family this week.

It's hard not to be negative about the in-laws etc and each time his brother and SIL come to visit I tell myself I am not going to think negative thoughts, I am not going to make negative comments to K etc. And.... every time I fail. They just drive me nuts.

Is it wrong of me to want to tell her that I don't care to hear in minute detail the entire linkage back through her family tree? That Uncle Charlie and Aunt Betty three times removed every year host a New Year's Party at their home but they have only been able to attend in 2007, 2004 and 2002 with minute descriptions of each and every reason of what symptoms they had that prevented them from attending. That I really don't care to hear how the entire sky train system works and don't need to have described for me each and every stop that the bus makes beside what mall and/or shopping plaza. Somehow I ended up confused trying to picture a maze of streets and places that I have never been and have to act interested. I. DON'T. GIVE. A. SHIT!

Okay that was a little harsh. I recognize basic conversation manners requires listening to things you're not interested because I certainly expect someone to listen to my boring stuff too. HOWEVER, that being said I think there should be a 20 minute cap. Seriously. There should be some kind of magic timer that goes DING, time to shut up and let the other person talk for 20 minutes and not only let the other person talk but listen without interjecting your own life story back into the conversation every 2 minutes. I've had to endure several 30 minute bouts of yawn inspiring, panic inducing conversation per day and they've been here since Saturday. How do you graciously extricate yourself from said conversations? It is not that easy and I can only be thankful when one of the children interrupt us and I have to go deal with them.

Yesterday she followed me around the house while I folded and put laundry away. It took her 20 minutes just to come back to the part of the conversation she had initially started off with.

Problem is the conversations are never give and take. They are never really interested in what I have to say for longer than 30 seconds. Prime example, K had mentioned that I'd been getting hives for the past couple of months, the minute the sentence was out of his mouth, his brother piped up about how his wife was having the same thing and then She jumped in with very detailed and lengthy description of what happened to her a while ago while nobody listened at all to what I had to say. Very frustrating! Do I sound like a petulant child? Probably. But really, isn't it nice for someone to just be a little concerned about you once in a while, to take a little interest in your health.

She had slipped on the stairs again last night and we talked about how I had fallen with O when she was in the hospital sick that year. The ambulance came and everything... did they listen to us tell the story? No, it's basically well so what, my wife almost died. Nothing ever trumps a near dying wife. Never mind that our own son almost died during delivery that year, that K got fired 7 weeks before I was due to deliver O and so on. It's always only about them.

Phew......... see that's why I love this place, I can rant to my hearts content.

Still do you think, I should be able to sit down and tell my SIL that hey, it'd be nice once in a while if they didn't dominate the conversation or jump in with their "better" story while I'm telling mine?

I just don't know.


  1. Maybe it's time to talk non-stop about the new wonderful house and everything about it, the neighborhood, the schools, the backyard, what you'll do to fix it up, the furniture you have, the furniture you'll buy, all the things you'll so.
    Ok, I've got a mean streak. I'll admit it.

  2. My experience is that people like this don't tend to appreciate others telling them that they are like this. However, if you don't want to see them any more, it may be worth a try.


  3. I'm so sorry. I feel like I could have written that post! Same circumstances, but different situations! And, I always keep my mouth shut too! I hope it gets better for you. And, I agree with faemom!! Talk about it ALL!!

  4. People like that drive me crazy. I'm just sorry that these ones are related to you, since it's much harder to ignore them that way.

  5. Some people suck.
    I wish I had some advice that could help you deal with it, but I have a pretty low threshold for tolerating other people at the best of times.


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