Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A big pile of... whine

Would you believe I am up at 6:30 a.m. beginning this post? O got me up this early and although he wanted his dad initially, who only grunted, he had to be satisfied with me.

I've been needing to do this post all week but it seems like there is something else always going on or a different post needing to be done. Plus I needed a little distance from the events to give me some perspective on it all.

First off, we had another offer last week. These people came to our house on two occasions. The first time we accommodated them with an evening appointment, 7 to 8, despite the fact that our children go to bed between that time. Obviously these people's children are not on the same schedule because they were apparently running around the house with glee while our three were sitting in the van crying because they wanted to go to bed. Cause they were late of course. We could only entertain our three for so long at McDonald's play place only to come home and find them still in our house. But that's positive right? Then a couple of days later they looked at our house on the weekend. Again taking almost a full hour to go through the home. On meeting their realtor leaving our home we were told at how much they love our house etc. My FIL made sure to mention that we were firm on the price because we had just reduced it and that was our bottom line.

So on Tuesday we got an offer. $20,000 less than our asking price along with an email from their realtor stating that his clients were going to offer us less but they really want the house so they've come up to $450 and if he really feels it would go through at that price but there is no wiggle room on the price for them.

Well everyone was livid. If these people could not afford to buy our home in the first place what the hell was he doing bringing them through and wasting all of our time. Because that's what it was a complete waste of time. Not to mention I completely got my hopes up that we were finally going to sell this house.

I was at work when the offer comes through. I was heavy in to a reorganization project and all I got from K was the price. On asking what his parents had to say he told me that he hadn't told them yet. So we hang up.

I finally get home at 10:30 at night and get filled in. On the way home I'm contemplating what we would counter and had it all set in my mind to see if we could at least get these people up to $460. After all we've come down this low at his parent's push so what's another $10,000. Unfortunately I had no say because I found out that his parents as expected were furious and disappointed like we were and that they had already phoned our realtor and told him in no uncertain terms that we were not budging from our asking price.

Without Consulting Me

So apparently I have no say. No one bothered to call me and inform me that this was going to happen, no one gave me an opportunity voice my opinion whatsoever of what we should do.

I point this out to K so he suggests we go upstairs. Really what was the point they three had already made the decision but no, he feels bad obviously, because he insists on us going up and discussing everything with his parents.

They were surprised to see us because after all in their minds it's resolved. K tried to bring the conversation up and I put in my two bits and K tried to help me saying what I said made sense even though he disagreed with it. Then here's the kicker.... They tell me that they've already told the realtor so we can't change it now. I point out yes I knew that but that they also did so without even so much as calling me. His dad annoyed, says "Well, it's three against one."

So here I am trying to stand up for myself because I already feel often like I don't count in this family and he says that to me. I was furious and got up and left. A lot of yelling and stomping around ensued and K comes down telling me that he stood up for me. A little too late honey.

He does admit that he didn't consult me and that was as much his fault as theirs. Um you think? It actually hurts more that my own husband didn't think to consult me than the inlaws.

So I know my opinion wouldn't have changed the end result but I still would have had a say and an opportunity to come to their choice. My FIL did apologize the next day and told me that he didn't mean it that way and that instead of running away I should stay and fight. After 10 years he still doesn't know me that well. I hate confrontation. My MIL did say, to my husband not to me, she hasn't once brought it up to me, that she thought it was understood among all of us that we wouldn't go any lower.

I think I pretty much cried for two days over this and other things. A week later I can see now that I was as much upset over the lost opportunity as I was over the whole not being consulted thing. I am upset that these realtors continue to waste our time bringing in clients that obviously cannot afford the home.

Just two days later we showed or tried to show the house to a realtor over the dinner hour. K took the three kids to Mcdonald's again to play and we get a call that the realtor never showed up. He finally gets tracked down and turns out he will be an hour late. K had already brought the kids home again. So he packs them all up and brings them to me at the video store. He's already stressed so he's not handling it very well at all on his own. Long story short the realtor finally showed up at 6:45 after we gave up on him and went home and turned off the lights. He was politely turned away. It was just too late. So much for him, he never even tried to rebook an appointment. So we wasted a whole evening killing time. I spent my whole day cleaning and we missed out on getting E's homework done because we had no time. K was absolutely furious.

That was the last straw and we decided to take the house off the market. Friday, however, our realtor managed to convince us to hang in there for just a little longer because he just had a feeling it was going to happen, the market is going up. So here we are. He tried to placate us by suggesting we give them a schedule of when we'd like showings to be but really like that's going to make a difference.

All it's done is make it so that I handle the bulk of the stress. Only day time appointments, you know when I'm the only one home to take the kids out. For some reason I can juggle the three kids and keep the house clean without absolutely screaming and yelling and losing it all over the place. I'm not saying I don't get mad when they drag out more toys but I've gotten so I can handle it. Not so with K. Even when I'm home he's losing it by the time we have to leave. Cause even K's mom could tell that K is starting to lose all patience with the kids. Everything has to be perfect and perfection pays a price is all I can say.

It just seems like nothing ever seems to go our way. When the market was hot did we get multiple offers and a bidding war happening? No. This included the last home we sold which was the desirable rancher. Three months we waited and we still had to take a reduced offer. With this house it's been 2.5 years.

Now K had this opportunity of selling video games through a drop shipper here in Canada. It seemed like it was going well the first week until suddenly mistake after mistake was made and now it's a monumentally big headache with confusion and many people not getting their orders. It's been a full time job just figuring out what's been shipped and not been shipped and they don't seem to communicate very well. We made mistakes on our end with sending the order reports but now on their end they've given us inventory that is apparently out of stock and 30 days later they're asking us so you want us to order it? WTH? #1, it's against Amazon policy to sell out of stock inventory #2, these people wanted this stuff by Christmas. Who's rating is affected? ours. At this point I want to just cancel the whole thing and refund the people their money but apparently if you do too many refunds, Amazon shuts down your account cause you're NOT supposed to sell out of stock product.

So yeah, it just doesn't seem like we can get a break.

Even venting just makes me depressed cause it brings it all out again. Still I've been wanting to get it off my chest, especially the part about the house. I can't talk to my mom about it because it will just make her opinion even worse of the inlaws and my husband and bringing it up to anyone else... well it just seems petty. Is it really such a big deal? I don't know but still it bothered me and is probably something I may never really get over the sense of hurt from.


In the Mommy Trenches


  1. Wow, so sorry. Real estate transactions are stressful under the best of circumstances

  2. I'm following you!

    We are just starting the process of buying our first home, still in the looking stages actually. I'm so sorry you are undergoing all of this stress! I hope things get better!

  3. Life really sucks sometimes. We just sold our house and I thought I was going to lose my mind with showings and having to take the kids places. It's the worst. Hang in there. We were ready to take our house of the market and 2 days later, it sold. Here's hoping...

  4. I wish I knew the right thing to say. Mostly I just wanted to say that you are justified in your feelings. I've had to work through a bit of that "we're a team now that we're married" stuff and it can be challenging. I know it's not much, but hang in there and vent here whenever you need to.

  5. That whole story just sounds so frustrating! I agree that real estate agents shouldn't be wasting people's time by showing houses above what their clients can afford but I think that's pretty standard. For the two times that we used a realtor I was constantly arguing with our realtor and telling them to stop showing us such expensive homes. They really try to push the limits for everyone. Selling a home is horribly stressful and I'm glad I didn't have to do with three small ones. I hope it works out for you soon!

  6. Oh, honey, that all sucks! I'm so glad you could get it off your chest. I hope you feel better now that it's out there and you have had some time to pull away. What you're going through is hard stuff. We're trying to short sell ourselves. But we've already moved, and I have to leave it up to my husband and the realitor, which makes me antsy. Stupid realitors. I have yet to find a good one.

  7. Thanks, I shop what I'm looking for mine using the service at It watched the Amazon inventory and the moment Amazon received fresh inventory at the regular retail price this obnoxious alarm went off.

  8. That sounds like a miserable situation. I don't think I could handle putting my house on the market. Ever. I would be a basket case trying to keep it clean all the time.

  9. Ugh, what a nightmare. Selling a house is so stressful, and when you add kids into the mix, well, it sucks. And then adding in-laws...yikes! My fingers are crossed for you, something good will happen soon, keep your chin up!


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