I was talking to my mother the other day wherein she was telling me how it was going with my brother, supposedly retired father and nephew were getting on at working together in my brother's construction business. When my 15 year old nephew was taxed with whether he'd rather work with Papa or his dad, he hesitated and then said his dad. My dad, his papa, you see is a somewhat gruff and exacting man, easily frustrated when he thinks you are not listening to him or following his instructions and gets seriously annoyed if he thinks you are being disrespectful to him. Which, he's old school European, it's very easy to do.
It made me sad to think that my dad's gruff nature would alienate his grandchildren. After all, papa's bark was worse than his bite. I mentioned this to my mom and she told me that my nephew is not going to remember or focus on the negative, that what he is going to remember about his Papa is working in the work shop or b-sing over go-karts, motorbikes and engines.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right. After all, I grew up with my dad and I knew under his gruff nature beat the heart of a marshmallow. That my dad is the rock of our home. That even though it seemed like he didn't want us underfoot, he had a strict children must play outside in all possible decent weather policy and would shoo us away, he never hesitated to take us with him when he went places. He was the one that would encourage me to spread my wings and follow my dreams. He was the one that was there in the drop of the hat to help me fix things or helped in my countless moves. I once moved 2 x in one year. So what that he was very strict about my curfew and got seriously offended one year when I bought him a "Stupid things my dad says to me", at my mother's urging, I might add. It still makes me laugh to remember how pissed he got over that stupid book. Cause he gets all quiet and frowning like. He didn't like me to wear make up and referred to any boy I dated as "that boy". Once he told me that my lipstick was like what hooker's wore. I was offended and told my mom that dad told me I looked like a hooker. He was offended said no, he didn't say that. I, in my teen wisdom, insisted that it was the same thing. *L*
Okay you get the picture. Point is although I remember some of the bad, I remember mostly the good and I don't think any of the negative stuff really affected me.
So it made me feel better to realize this. Sometimes, the day just goes so badly and I'm so "off" that I think..."what are we doing to the kids?". It's nice to realize that my children will forgive me the bad stuff if I make sure to throw in a lot of the good stuff. Just so long as I ensure to make good memories for them, hug them, kiss them, snuggle them and reassure that I do love them no matter what.
Let's face it, we've all had that "bad mommy moment" multiple times. I feel a little better knowing that those moments are not going to overshadow the good. Don't you?