It's taken me a couple of days to even settle down to post this. You see with me working 4 nights a week, I pretty much plan all the meals in the house. When hubby gets home, supper is already on the table so we can eat as a family before I rush out the door to work leaving hub with the dishes. Lately, however, hub's been under a lot of extra stress with work and family etc so I've been trying to pick up some of the extra work like trying to make sure a lot of the supper dishes get done while I'm making supper, making sure the dishwasher's empty for him etc.
However, it seems the more I do, the less he does. I don't think he's even realized that he hasn't helped out with the laundry for the past two weeks, made the bed or even vacuumed. Course he wouldn't cause I've been picking up the slack.
So I do all this during the week, taking it on the chin, doing my bit for the team er family. You'd think that on the weekend would be the time for him to jump in and help a little bit with some of the eating decisions. I thought I was communicating my need to him for him to help with some of the preparation and decision making on the weekends by frequent questions like ... "what do you think we should have for lunch? or what do you want for dinner" What are we going to do about dinner?" etc.
I don't know about your husbands but mine amazes me with his ability to actually not answer a question, I walk away and realize half an hour later that he still hadn't answered the original question. Part of it is because our house is crazy and I do mean crazy with 3 kids. They all seem to want 100% of our attention now. Part of it is because he appears to be actually pondering the question. Guess what, he's not! Usually we waste a whole lot of time until I just get up and do it myself. AGAIN.
So this weekend was like no other except for the fact that I got real pissed about it. I decided that I wasn't going to cook. Hub knew I was annoyed about the whole what's for dinner, we'd had words about (too long to get into) so what does he do? Takes the kids outside and plays with them for 2 1/2 hour. Ignoring the fact that we still have to resolve the dinner issue. Okay, maybe I was being childish, but now I was really ticked. There was no way I was cooking dinner.
Finally at 7:00 p.m. (their bedtime btw) he brings them in and makes Kraft Dinner. OMG! That was the best he could come up with? For us it was soup. No, I did not want to eat left over 2 day old soup for dinner thank you very much.
So after the kids are in bed we have it out. Guess what? He's totally clueless to the whole let's plan out meal ideas. You know his man brain.. (no, not that one) just does not go there. If I want him to plan dinner he's got to know in advance.
Here's the kicker, if I want him to help out with dinner, then he will. I just need to tell him. Uh hello, that's what I thought I was doing with the whole, what should we eat questions. No, apparently I have to be more specific and notify him days in advance.
Yeah, like I get advance notice. Well actually I guess I do cause I am the one who usually makes it every day. Apparently he draws a complete blank when I ask him about meals. It simply does not occur to him that he could get up of his @ss and look through the cupboards/fridge and give me some freakin suggestions. When I pointed this out to him, he shrugged and said "yeah I guess I could do that."
So apparently.... I am not communicating very well.