As of this particular moment life sucks. From the moment I got out of bed this morning I have been a raging momma. Patience is at an all time low. Every little thing is setting me off and gets an instant raised voice reaction. I just don't know how to stop it.
I do try. I realize that I'm being crazy and tell myself that I am going to respond to the next kid crisis without yelling but it doesn't turn out that way.
What makes me crazy like this? It's not good for my ego either. I have not been this bad in a long time. It started yesterday and has gotten worse today so that almost every word out of my mouth sounds like a shrieking shrew. Is it PMS? Cause it's that time of the month, or it's supposed to be. Nothing has been normal since I went on the progesterone only pill. Or is it the sleep interruption? The night before last, I was up in the middle of the night. E keeps coming in our room telling us that one of the kids are crying but I don't hear them so I have take her back to bed and then O does wake up so I have to feed him. Last night was the same thing only when I went back to bed, I was feeling sick so I ended up being up for two hours till it passed and I could go back to sleep. Plus I've been waking up with what I call sleep headaches. Sometimes they are so bad I wake up in them middle of the night aware of my aching head. It usually dies down by the morning but some times it lingers.
So these are a lot of little things that can add up to my grouchiness. Sleep is a big thing for me. The less I get, the moodier I get. Fortunately, I managed to get the kids outside to play for a little bit because I am at the point of sitting on the floor with my head in my hands cause this is not the kind of mom I want to be.
How do you get them to not take the broom and swing it around the house while you're folding laundry narrowly missing the expensive flat screen t.v.?
How do you get them to remember to pick up their makeshift beds on the floor when they are done playing with them?
How do you get them to not pull the chairs up to the stove and fridge, take all your pictures and magnets off the fridge, pull all the recycling piled up on the side of the counter onto the floor, pull all the DVD's out of the cupboard onto the floor... all while you take a 10 minute shower. All under the nose of the 5 year old. Not that E is responsible for them, I try not to put that kind of pressure on her but couldn't she at least have said no to them at one point? These are things they don't normally do all at once. Usually I can manage to get a shower without major chaos, I had them all set up playing in their room.
How do you get them to stop yelling at each other? (especially when mommy's doing a lot of yelling herself)
How do you get them to bring me back their sippy cups and snack bowls so I don't find rotting cups of juice and/or milk under my couch six months later?
How do you get your 22 month old not to keep taking his boots off and walking in the one muddy spot we have in the entire yard then opening the back door again and walking across my kitchen floor with his muddy socks/boots on at least 5x a day?
How do you get them to eat with their plates under them and not half way across the table so all their food that misses their mouth lands on their plates and not the table?
How do you get your 5 year old to stop trying to get rid of her baby brother by telling him to go get a baba from Mommy, especially when mommy is trying to get the baby out of bottles and especially since the mommy has very little milk left at the moment and needs to get to the store?
OH and the list could go on and on... I can't even remember all of the more hair pulling incidents that have gone on this morning.
Why is it that we so quickly lose sight of why we are doing this and how much this is actually where we want to be. Why can't we remember in the moment all those wonderful things about parenting. Why do I feel like I'm going to be stuck in bad mommy moments forever?
Does anyone know of any natural mood enhancers (and I'm not talking romantically either.. no oyster recommendations please) *wink*
Okay, life can't be that bad... I just made a joke and a wink all at the same time. Maybe I just need lunch.