Thursday, September 18, 2008

kindergarden... stressed already?


E started kindergarden last week. She's doing really well. No real problems going, pretty excited each day to be going to school. However, she's not making the transition from pre or should I say play school to real school very well. She has met a boy (yes at such a tender age too) who likes to play the "shark" game. Which mainly consists of one or more of the boys roaring like sharks (really do sharks roar?) and chase the rest of the kids. Something my daughter enjoys immensely. It's the highlight of her day. Getting her off of the shark high though is another thing.

The first day of the "shark game" she had a tantrum leaving. Crying, screaming, running away the whole nine yards. E was promptly escorted home. Well, maybe not so promptly, I had one mom holding O while I lost track of J completely trying to manouever my 50 pound 5 year old into a listening position and an upright lets walk back to the stroller position. No easy feat I assure you. I broke into a sweat and it was just as much from the exertion as it was from the embarassment factor. I have yet to see one other mom or dad having to deal with THEIR five year old's tantrum in the middle of the school field. Well E got the lecture of her life and informed that we would not be playing after school at the playground if that was how she was going to behave.

The next few times go just fine so I'm thinking great lesson learned. That is until today. I knew from her behaviour this a.m. that all was not going to be well in E world today. She was emotional and easily frustrated and staring the WAAHHH thing whenever we said no. I felt sorry for poor Mrs. D. today. On top of that, O sliced his thunb. He managed to get this little porcelain baby buggy off of his dresser, broke it and cut himself. It was a deep cut and it bled and bled and bled like a fawcett. We finally got him bandaged up but he was pretty teary for a while. So I elect to skip walking to school today, rang nana up to sit and drove E to school myself.

Pick up should have gone smoothly because it was just me and J but oh no, I had gotten into conversation with a mom about school pictures and E wanted to go play on the playground, said boy was already there. Well, I told her just a minute and she started to lose it. crying and acting up, her teacher saw and came over to talk to me. She basically stated that E was sweet and liked to be helpful but she argues a lot and doesn't transition well from different things to next task etc. Which I'm not surprised at. In the middle of this I still have E crying and asking to play, at which point I told her that she couldn't play anymore because of her behaviour. It was just as well because given that she couldn't wait 1 minute to go play there was no way she would have left easily today. It probably would have been worse, as it was I still had to firmly hold her hand and escort her to the van. Knowing that if I so much as let go, she'd bolt and run. Yes, I just love them when they're like this.

So............ I go home and have a good cry. I was totally embarrassed not to mention furious at her behaviour. I sat down and explained to her that playing on the schoolground is not what school was about etc. I don't know if she gets it but I hope she does.

It pretty much bothered me all day. I can't figure out why it is that she's behaving this why and what I can do to fix it or how I can handle it better. Talking it through (like the teacher suggests) doesn't help when she's in the middle of her fit. She can't rationalize. She tells me she can't help herself when she's like that.

I don't know. It bums me out because I don't want her to have a tough time at school and I know how hard kids can be. I don't want her to be labelled as the cry baby etc... or to lose friends because she won't share or is too bossy. There is only so much instruction you can give when it seems like they are not giving you 100%.

A lot of it stems from her being tired. When she gets tired she always is more emotional and more unreasonable. I don't know how to transition her when she's like that.

It doesn't help that when times are like this that K gets more negative. He then swears up and down she has a behavioural problem and needs counselling or something and everything I talk about is just how bad she ALWAYS is and how hard it is for him getting them to bed by himself etc when I know that he's had a good routine going. It seems like if he has a hard week or two then all of sudden it's been like that always........ very frustrating. I don't want to label my kid negatively and he's very much when it's bad it's always bad, when it's good, she's amazing.

I don't know........... any suggestions?

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