Thursday, August 28, 2008

What were we thinking?


We've just gotten back from a weeks worth of camping. No, pardon me 5 days worth. We only managed to survive 5 days in my parent's brand new travel trailer with water and electric hook-up. (So the microwave wouldn't work, something about 110 or 220 voltage, I don't know).

I'm getting a little a head of myself. We borrowed my parent's trailer, had it towed by my brother to a wonderful (albeit only visited via online website) little campsite on the beach. The site turned out to be the size of a postage stamp and the little 2 foot slope to the beach we were assured of turned out to be a two level 6 foot drop. So we had to be creative with parking our vehicle. Otherwise, the place was lovely. So we didn't sleep well, so E started throwing up again on the way there and remained sickish for the next 3 days. She didn't eat so she didn't have anything else to throw up. So she threw several hissy fits a day from her disruptive sleep and begged to go home each night to her own bed but was equally just as happy we were still camping in the morning. So O didn't like to stay with us and insisted on wandering off willy nilly entire time, us having to run like mad to make sure he didn't fall over the drop. So he screamed his little head off every time we tried to put him in the play pen. So I fell over a log (backwards) while holding my son, hurting my back, AGAIN. So, the firewood was wet and we couldn't get a decent enough fire to cook a hotdog the first night. So, the bathrooms smelled bad, really bad.

What we did have, was a wonderful sandy beach area where my kids loved to dig. Just around the corner was a gorgeous sandbar where O could run to his little heart's delight, wandering into shallow pools and hucking gobs of sand through the air. J seemed to grow up over night as she excitedly accompanied mommy to the bathroom and stayed outside the stall and checked things out and reported back to me intermittently of what she's discovered, suddenly dropping the mummy and daddyism for the more grown up mum and dad. E and J could play for an hour at a time in the driftwood fort someone had made just down the beach. Barbeque chicken never tasted so good as it did there. We went for walks to the store and savoured ice cream bars while we sat on the wooden swing overlooking the ocean. We had campfires, where my J was introduced to the glories of toasted marshmallows and as she solemnly told my husband the next day.. Dad, I just love the campfire!. As could be told by the remnant "goop" on her face and legs. Then, we managed the miracle of miracles and got all three down to sleep in a strange place and actually got to have grown up time by the fire. We even got to play scrabble a couple of times. Your's truly winning hands down. Of course, he says he won the first game (we didn't keep score that time).

And the bathrooms? They cleaned them 4 times a day. Turns out the smell must be from the well water. I've never been to a place that cleans their bathrooms 2x a day never mind 4 x.

So despite all the negatives, the headaches, I would have to say it was worth it. Life is always going to be somewhat uncomfortable but really it's only us grownups that realize it. The kids, it's water off their back. They are not even aware of it five minutes after it has passed. For them, they won't remember screaming at me because she wanted to stay five more minutes, they'll remember getting to play in the fort, run on the beach rescuing starfish and playing in the sand. Life would be a lot easier if we had more of their view of life.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Things are Looking UP

*** A post I had drafted August 18th but forgot to go back and publish. ****

Finally, we seem to be on the mend. We still have periodic explosions and puke fests but they are getting fewer and farther between. The main thing is they are happier and seem to have more energy. Now if only the poor parents could dredge up some more energy.



Unfortunately, my poor employee got the bug and phoned in sick yesterday. I knew she was really sick then because she's got very good work ethics. So I all but started to cry because there was no else to go in and my poor babies had been begging to go somewhere and we had already promised them a trip to the beach if it was nice.



In the end, we decided to open up late. After all it was Kidsfest weekend and how busy would it be in the morning? We debated on going to Kidsfest but it was kids kids and more kids and really only targeted to E and J. O would be stuck, miserable, in his stroller.


So we took the kids to the beach instead and had a great time. We found a quiet spot with lots of sand and the kids dug and ran to their hearts delight. E scampered in the waves, made a friend and they both spent an hour running up and down the beach "rescuing" poor starfish stranded by the tide.

You know you done good when we're walking back to the van and little J says, "I had fun mom". Why oh why don't we take more time for moments like these?

Friday, August 15, 2008

Feeling Sorry for Myself


Remember when I said I was feeling more positive? Yeah, right. That went out the window about 3 days ago. We are now approaching day 11 of the flu. To top it off, my two youngest now seem to have hand, foot and mouth disease. The odd thing is that they still are throwing up. Just when I think we're taking a turn for the better, one of them starts upchucking again. By this point, we've almost gone through an entire box of diapers (from the diarrhea) and I have washed my hands so many times my skin burns every time the water hits it.

And........ typical kid style they like to have interrupted sleep all night, get you up at 5 a.m. and then have a nice 3 hour nap at opposite times I might add, so there is no possibility of my having a nap. I have to do about 4 loads of laundry a day from all the poop and puke explosions, we've steam cleaned the couch cushions 3 times now and have had to spot clean the living room carpets at least 4 times. Fortunately, a few of the worst moments were on the linoleum, easy cleanup.

So I'm tired and heartily sick of sick kids. When I went to get dressed this morning, knowing that I'd have to wait to grab a shower when the baby is napping, I lost it, I jumped into my bed and hid under the covers and had myself a good old pity party. Along with the tears came the thoughts of what an immature and selfish mom I was. Here my children are sick and I'm indulging myself in the ol woe is me's. I'm so tired I can't think straight plus I have to work this evening. My business partner is away on holidays so there's no one else to cover for me and I have been struggling with nausea all week. I don't actually get sick, I just get the joy of feeling like I'm going to. My patience is at an all time low and I don't even have the energy to deal with the fights. I stop myself because I know that I'm not going to handle it very well. Like my well known theory is, if mom isn't happy.. no one is happy.

But what can you do, you shrug it off, get dressed and carry on knowing that along with dispensing some well needed hugs and kisses along the way that the end is near, there is light at the end of tunnel. I have to keep reminding myself and my children, mommy loves them, mommy's sorry she's grumpy, she's trying. Oh Lord, am I trying!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Thank the Good Lord for My Job

I didn't think I'd ever be so happy as to go to work today! My children, yes all 3 of them, are STILL SICK. Just when you think we're on the mend, they start yakking up again.

The up side is that I got almost 6 1/2 hours sleep last night, I mean straight, in a row, non-interrupted sleep until 6:00 a.m. when I woke to Miss E rustling around in the kitchen. She had gotten sick and was looking for a cloth to clean it up, bless her heart. So mommy to the rescue once again. Of course, it being 6 a.m. I was not up for stripping the entire bed and was thankful that she had mainly gotten sick on her bedspread so I rolled that off to side promptly produced a spare blanket and told her to go back to bed. She pointed out one teeny remaining wet spot on the sheet and I told her to sleep on the other side of her bed away from it. She sleeps in a Queen sized bed afterall AND I didn't want to wake her sister. Less than an hour later, they were all up anyways.

So I've been cleaning and washing and cleaning and washing all day long. O has started to throw up again and his diaper could make a grown man cry. So although I had a twinge of guilt leaving them with hubby, I was more than a little relieved to be getting out of that infested pit of sickness.

However, O also suddenly developed blisters on his heels so I'm very worried he's got hand, foot and mouth as well. The crap will definitely hit the fan then. We're supposed to go camping next week. Cross your fingers......... get out the bleach and starting sanitizing.

Oh and I burned the potatoes. O had gone down for his 4th little catnap (normally he's a good sleeper) and the girls were zombies on the floor watching a show (about all you can do with them when they're lethargic) and I had supper on the go, stopped to read something online next thing I know I smell something burning. Do I get up and check? No. I think it's just the potato water spluttering out of the pot onto the element. So when I do go to check the potatoes, I find them completely boiled dry. I'm no gourmet cook but I do know how to cook regular food, mashed potatos along with it. I have never boiled anything dry like that in my life. I mean not when I was sitting right there. Talk about dumb. Poor hubby gets left with the pot too. *LOL* okay so most won't think that's funny, but it kinda is to a tired momma who's been handling most of the tough stuff all weekend and then some.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Update on Me

Despite the fact that my kids are sick at the moment, I am realizing that I am much more positive than I used to be. My headaches have finally subsided. I only get them once in while now and usually can relate it to my period, lack of sleep or something like that.

I finally got my progesterone cream and after only 1 week of using it, I'm back to a 28 day cycle. I swear the very next day after using it for the first time I was more upbeat. I had had a really really bad day the day before and it was actually my husband who reminded me to start using it. I had even reached the point where I had started to do some research on depression and was preparing for opening the discussion with my husband. (He doesn't necessarily agree with taking meds for it). So, I've put that on the back burner for now. My mood's not 100% yet (when will it ever be?) but it's getting better so I figure I will give the cream a chance to work and see what happens. After all, considering I've struggled with weight and infertility for years I bet I've been unbalanced (hormonally *LOL*) for years.

So we shall see how it goes. Hopefully the days of whiny blogs are over. Let's make room for some positive life experiences! Now if only I could get a consistent good night's sleep.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

It's Raining.........Spew??????


I have probably mentioned several times that we are trying to sell our house so that we can move closer to my husband's work. Well, it's been rather difficult. We go from 4 or 5 showings a week to nothing for 3 weeks. It's amazing what you let slide in just 3 little weeks. Especially with 3 little monsters running around under your feet.

We had just been through a rather dry spell when we got the call yesterday. Showing for today at 12:15. So it falls at lunch, during nap time and basically mucks up the whole day. Do I say no? No way, we haven't shown the house in weeks. So I start gearing up yesterday for the "BIG" clean. Hubby gets into the act after work scrubbing walls (why the walls needed to be cleaned when the bathroom, kitchen and bedrooms were on top of the list, you got me). I finished off the job today.

We got a little rough start this morning when my 2 1/2 year old came running in to the bathroom carrying a bucket. The bucket had been from when E had been sick earlier in the week. Well, J had good intentions, she meant to get sick in the bucket only it went all over the bathroom floor and cupboards instead. That was clean up #1.

O (my son) was a little whiny and clingy this morning. Not his usual feisty self. Finally I decide I'll put him down for a nap even though it's early. He could still squeeze in an hour and a half before we have to leave.

I'm cool, collected, relaxing outside supervising the older two cause hey, I've got it all together this time. No mad dash, no rush to pick up the last toys. O wakes up, he's fussy but I figure he'll be just grand once I get him outside (he loves the outdoors). We've got 10 minutes to go. I have all the lights on like we're supposed to etc... I sit him on the bench to put his shoes on when suddenly.... GAK he lets loose sour milk spray all over himself, the bench, his blankie, the carpet and me. YIIII!! I just cleaned. I pick him and try to take him outside (we're right beside the door). Oh that doesn't work.. he just yaks some more, more on me, more on the door, the mat, the sidewalk. Crap.

I tell the oldest to run upstairs quick and tell Nana I needed her. I'm trying to console my poor wee man while his tummy's gurgling and burbling when Nana AND Papa arrive. They promptly assess the situation and begin to clean up while I'm stripping O down to his diaper. It doesn't take me long to realize that I've got sour milk spew all over my feet, my hands, my arms, my shirt. yuk.

It's too late to cancel the viewing so we clean up as best we can, spray some air freshener to cover up the puke smell and head out in the van with a bucket along with us for emergencies. Nana insisted we take it. I'm kinda wondering what I was going to do with the bucket when I'm in the front driving but hey.

So heading out to McD's and letting the kids play in the play area is off, likewise any other restaurants. While I do have one vague memory of watching a family out to eat at Pizza hut while their child periodically leaned over to spew in a bucket they had so thoughtfully brought along with them, I'd like to think I was just a tad more considerate. So drive-thru it is. My poor little O. He looked so dejected sitting there in his car seat, holding his favourite blankie and sucking his sou sou (soother). So we get our food and drive to the beach, only it's beachfest so I can't park down at the beach. I explain for the millionth time why we can't stop at the park I find us an alternative shady spot to park and divvy up the food. We're there for about 15 minutes before O decides he doesn't like just sitting. I can't tempt him with even a french fry. So we start up the van again and drive around, all the while checking to see if the realtor had come by the house yet. Finally, after driving my crying child around the neighbourhood several times I figure I'll quickly run in and see if I can see the realtor's calling card. Nothing. GRR. I drive around for 20 more minutes. Finally when there is only 3 more minutes left, I figure screw it. J is now asleep in her seat, O is crying more and more. What kind of mom am I?

I unload the kids from the van, lay J in her bed and leaving O to his sister, who's showing her sweet side by reading a book to him, I quickly run upstairs to check if I'd missed the realtor's card. Nope. It was definitely a no show. I heard the garage door so I went out to meet my in-laws and told them that it was a no show. I got totally choked up, thinking here I had busted my ass for two days getting my house in show home condition, took my sick kids out and drove them around in a warm van for a whole hour and they didn't even bother to come OR to phone to say they'd be late. My mother-in-law felt for me and called our realtor's office to find out what happened.

Well, my afternoon was totally mucked up. Poor J didn't make the transition from van to bed and promptly got up. O I couldn't get to sleep and I ended up walking outside with him when suddenly an hour after they were supposed to, the realtor and his client's show up. OMG.

Well, we let them through since the kids were awake. But we had to quickly run around and tidy up again. It's amazing how many toys kids can dump on the floor in an hour despite the fact that they were mostly playing outside!

The upshot was that when the realtor left, apologizing for being late, he told Nana that they had been through 7 homes that day and THIS was the house they liked and that he would be talking to our realtor. Well, that was encouraging. We were excited but then realized that this was the same realtor who had shown our house twice before, one time at least was just to price compare for pricing his client's house for sale and then he left positive feedback on the feedback form when we knew darn well that they weren't interested in our home.

This is getting long, but it just doesn't end there. My poor lethargic little O finally went down for a nap, I'm all set to start supper when WAAAAAAAAA alerts me and checking on the baby, I find... yup more spew all down the crib rails and over the bedding etc. Well that was an easy fix. I soothed my baby, cleaned up, started the 3rd load of laundry that day when he comes crying in to me again. I go to change his diaper and yeah more spew, this time there was tons. Poor little guy didn't have anything left by the time he was done. After that, there was no time to clean up. I had to pop him in the tub and then rock him in my arms for the next hour until Daddy came home.

Fortunately, my girls rose to the occasion by playing nicely and peacefully outside and then in their bedroom. So I was able to focus on little O. I hadn't snuggled him for that long of a time since he was breastfed. Normally he won't sit still.

Luckily I had already gotten out of work that night. I was glad because even when Daddy was home and had O for a little bit, he wanted me. The minute I took him back in my arms and cradled him, he stopped crying and closed his eyes to sleep. It's just an amazing feeling to know that you're the only one that can comfort your baby in the way that he needs. Sometimes, I am just amazed at how much they need me. Doesn't matter how crabby mommy gets, they still love me and still want me most of all.

The day ended off not to badly after that. I think we're over the worst with him. He went to bed at 6 and only got up a few times through the night.

So three down, two to go. J has had some blow-outs (poop wise) and I have yet to get it but I am sure I will considering I was covered in puke.

Oh well, as long as we all get it out of system before we go camping. I'm just hoping if I get sick it's when the hubby is home. Nothing like having to throw up and look after 3 little ones at the same time. Mom's never really get a day off, do they?