Friday, October 9, 2015

Do You Know How Lucky You Are?

Judgemental_mum_476x290I am extremely tired of parents of so called “normal” children who choose to remain ignorant about what it must be like to have a special needs child.  They sit on their little thrones and pass judgment on these children who don’t fit the norm.  A kid acts up in the hallway, they roll their eyes at the other parents in the hallway.  They will even stand around and say things like “God, that kid is a nightmare.”  When a parent was confronted by her child’s continually bullying of another child, her basic response was “But my kid thinks your kid is weird”.  And…. that justifies what?

In a casual conversation about picky eaters from sensory issues, one parent pipes in with kids should eat what they’re given or go hungry.  When I tune in with that it’s not always possible to be rigid like that because of sensory issues it waved off with a “bah, I don’t believe in that stuff.”  You don’t believe in that stuff?  It’s not like we’re talking about the tooth fairy or Santa Clause.  Thousands of children are just making it up and their gullible parents are buying into it?  I also see that your child is being given a weight belt and ear phones during class time to help keep him grounded.  Oh right, you don’t believe in that stuff so the teacher shouldn’t be helping him. Wiggle seats – throw those out the window.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Life on the Spectrum

aspergers-disorderAs my daughter gets older, it gets harder to walk the line of what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour.  When she was 5 or 6, a tantrum or excessive display of anger or frustration was easier to sweep under the rug and just chalk up to her age; however, disrupting the outburst may have been.  But then when she was 5 or 6, we didn’t know she was on the Autism Spectrum. 
When she’s 12; however, explosive outbursts and stomping of feet is no longer so easier to ignore or let slide by.  Unfortunately, now that we know she has Aspergers it’s not like we suddenly have deep wells of patience.  We get just as much pissed off and frustrated by her behaviour as we do for the children without it. 

Friday, October 2, 2015

Minecraft Birthday Party

Has Minecraft taken over your household?  It certainly has mine.  I was completely resistant at first to the whole idea of Minecraft.  At first I thought it was some sort of fighting or war game which I refuse to allow my children to play.   However, my husband researched Minecraft and with the help of the neighbour children, it was explained to me that playing Minecraft in creative mode is about building and exploring only.  So while it may be harmless fun, I’m not sure about the hours that my son plays building and them blowing things up.  I don't really get the attraction but there it is.

So when my soon to be 8 year old wanted a party it had to be Minecraft.  Fortunately, it was a pretty easy theme to decorate for what with pixelated graphics, a black, green and brown colour scheme.  Of course, my first start is to check out Pinterest for ideas and a quick visit to Party Palace to see what was available.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Birthday Blah's

So it's my birthday, again.  Yes, it comes around every year but since I hit 40, I'm not so happy celebrating the passing of the years. Is it because I'm getting older, that could be part of it.  Or, could it be that I'm tired of being disappointed?

Yeah, that's probably it.  I love my husband.  I really do but when it comes to planning things like Mother's Day, Valentines and birthdays, he kinda sucks at it.  He's more of the "so what do you want to do for ____ " than plan something and surprise me.  Given the opportunity, he'd rather let me decide and put it into action.

My mom is probably a little to blame for that because ever since we got married, she always had us over for dinner around my birthday with cake and everything.  My mother-in-law also likes to cook a birthday dinner and voila hubs has nothing whatsoever to do except buy a card and gift.  Only over the last few years, money has been tight and so rather than get creative and come up with something, he's done nothing.  Although two years ago we did go away for a night in the big city as we decided to combine my birthday with picking up my wedding rings which I had gotten re-sized.

I think it was my 40th that was the real clincher for me though.  My inlaws were going to be away for my birthday so while family was visiting and we were celebrating my nephew's birthday at my house, out popped my MIL with a birthday cake for me.  While she thought she was doing something nice, my ungrateful little heart was not so happy having my 40th birthday tacked on as an after thought to  a six year old's party a full month before the actual day.  My husband kept asking me what I wanted to do for my 40th and so finally, I said I'd make a really nice dinner and have friends over.  To be fair my husband kept asking me if that's what I really wanted to do but he never came up with any other suggestions.  I pulled all the stops with hand breaded chicken cordon bleu, a fussy 6 layer cookie/mousse cake and a table decorated to the nines.  After it was all over, I felt let down.  You know like when you're excitedly waiting for something to happen only when it arrives it wasn't all that great?  Like that.  The food was good, the company was good but still I felt like why did I do all that work.

So I stopped having birthdays as much as I possibly can.  I can't stop people calling; however I don't answer the phone when my BIL and his family call to sing me Happy Birthday.  I told my MIL that  I don't want a dinner and since my mom's gone now, that's not an issue either.  My kids are getting older though, so while they might not think ahead of time to make me anything and are always attempting something at the last minute, it was sweet when they got up this morning and made me breakfast in bed.  My oldest actually scrambled eggs and my middle child made tea.
It was perfect, it was sweet.   Of course, once they finished delighting me with their cards and received their hugs, they promptly went upstairs and got into a huge spat over goodness knows what that I had to shelve my breakfast and go and separate them all.  Ah, birthdays.

I even made a trip to my dad's planning on take-out for dinner, purposely didn't advertise to my brother that I was coming down for the day and was fully prepared to forget I even had a birthday. Only my brother did remember and came over with a gift and my dad forgot until he checked his i-pad and got a reminder. Only how do you say, that's okay Dad, I was pretending it wasn't my birthday and didn't want to make this visit about it.  

As for hubs, this year he suggested we go to the spa so we have reservations this week. I appreciated that he actually put some thought into doing something for my birthday.  If he had of gone a step further and just made the reservation and not have to consult me on everything, it would have been even better. Still, it's a step in the right direction.  Although, I can't help but wish he'd bought me a card.



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